When I first started serving neighbors struggling with hunger and homelessness, I could barely make eye contact because it made me so sad. I was wrecked by the human suffering I hadn’t known existed until it confronted me in a line of neighbors. It broke my heart. I wanted to do more.
Over time, that heartbreak fueled my purpose. For more than a decade, I poured myself into community-based organizations that provided meals, housing and transformation. I loved the work and the people we served.
But one day, after years of showing up with that same energy and commitment, something shifted.
I sat across from a neighbor at the same table where I’d served many times before. I realized, for the first time, I felt empty.
The stories I once found so moving had blurred together. The line of people waiting for help seemed endless. I began to wonder if what I was doing made any difference at all.
That moment became my wake-up call: a signal that the compassion that once drove me was now depleting me.
When Purpose Turns to Fatigue
What once filled me with meaning began to drain me. I felt emotionally exhausted, short-tempered, and detached. I was showing up physically, but not mentally or emotionally.
I was experiencing compassion fatigue — the emotional, physical and spiritual exhaustion that can come from caring deeply for others for a long time.
Understanding Burnout and Compassion Fatigue
Earlier in the year, I had read “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Code” by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., and Amelia Nagoski, DMA. Their work gave language to what I was feeling and offered hope for healing.
Burnout was first coined by psychologist Herbert Freudenberger in 1975 and defined by three components:
- Emotional exhaustion — the fatigue that comes from caring too much, for too long
- Depersonalization — the depletion of empathy, caring and compassion
- Decreased sense of accomplishment — an unconquerable sense of futility; feeling that nothing you do makes any difference
I saw myself in Freudenberger’s definition. I felt it as I drove familiar routes around my city and saw neighbors sleeping under overpasses or standing at intersections asking for change.
In this season, it seemed that nothing I did made any difference at all.
The Reality of Burnout in the Nonprofit Sector
Burnout is highly prevalent, especially in the nonprofit sector. Long hours, limited resources and the constant exposure to human need can wear down even the most committed leaders.
A study from Nonprofit HR found that 45% of nonprofit employees planned to seek new employment within five years, and nearly a quarter said they would leave the nonprofit sector entirely. Fundraisers, in particular, experience especially high burnout rates, with average job tenures around 18 months.
These statistics are sobering but not surprising. Our work is meaningful, but it’s also demanding.
Listening to Your Body
For me, compassion fatigue first showed up in physical symptoms: daily headaches, jaw pain from grinding my teeth, and a deep exhaustion that rest alone didn’t fix.
Our bodies often speak before we do. When stress and emotions go unprocessed, they can manifest physically as pain, illness or persistent fatigue.
Taking time to pause and listen is the first step to recovery.
What Helped Me Heal
When I realized I was burned out, I did what many of us do: I tried to push through. I took time off, traveled and rested, but the relief didn’t last. It wasn’t until I began talking with trusted mentors, a therapist and close friends that I started to recover.
Through reflection and professional help, I learned that healing required both time and intentional effort. It meant:
- Acknowledging my limits: Recognizing that I couldn’t pour from an empty cup
- Processing emotions: Writing, walking and talking through my experiences instead of avoiding them
- Setting boundaries: Allowing myself to step away when needed and trust that others could lead, too
- Reconnecting to purpose: Remembering the “why” behind my work without letting it consume my sense of self
Five Ways Nonprofit Leaders Can Care for Themselves
1. Recognize the warning signs early.
Fatigue, irritability and detachment are cues to pause, not weaknesses to hide.
2. Build reflection into your routine.
Journaling, walking or taking short pauses between meetings can help process emotions. (Try this guided reflection break for nonprofit leaders.)
3. Create safe spaces for staff.
Normalize conversations about mental health and burnout. Model vulnerability and self-compassion as a leader.
4. Ask for and accept help.
Coaching, therapy and peer support lighten the load and strengthen resilience.
5. Redefine success.
Celebrate small wins and remember that sustainability — not perfection — is the goal.
What You Can Do Today: Create Your Own Safety Plan
When I was trained years ago in trauma-informed care, I developed a personal safety plan for when I felt overwhelmed or burned out. It’s become one of the simplest and most effective ways I stay grounded.
What will yours look like? Try a few of these ideas — or build your own list.
- Pound the pavement. Take a walk or run to clear your mind.
- Stir your chi. Get up, stretch and shake out your stress.
- Breathe deeply. Try box breathing or short meditations to reset your nervous system.
- Phone a friend. Talk it out with someone who understands.
- Read for 10 minutes. Consume something new or different to shift your focus.
A safety plan doesn’t have to be elaborate just intentional. The goal is to recognize when you’re nearing your limits and have a ready list of ways to restore balance.
Lead with Compassion — for Yourself and Others
For many of us, caring is our calling. But if we don’t care for ourselves with the same dedication we give to others, we risk losing the joy and purpose that brought us here in the first place.
Leading through compassion fatigue takes courage and honesty. It also requires community — spaces like the Nonprofit Leadership Center that remind us, we’re not alone and that growth, rest and renewal are part of leadership too.
